Loving this new song and the lyrics of this one… Ed Sheeran is right.
“If you cross her, then you cross me”
Marriage isn’t always easy, well not sure when it actually IS easy because it’s constant work, and so is parenting.
These lyrics this week have really come into play in my life. I’m thankful for having a partner in crime that takes a stand for me when he knows it’s needed. He knows to chose the right battles to step into too, because this little Miss Independent can also get mad if he steps up without giving me the time for my own opportunity.
My husband and I have been together since 2002 really. That’s 17 years. Married since 2006. That’s 13 years this October, that’s almost two decades of marriage and in today’s time sadly is now considered long.
My grandparents were married until death did them part, over 60 years, now that’s long. Gosh, I miss them. My parents not married legally consecutively but having each others back and fighting along side each other through the ups and down of the life for now over 45 years today! This is long.
17 years though, since I was 22. Gosh. A lot has changed since then, I’ve grown, he’s grown, we just make it a priority that we grow together. He’s changed over time and I know I have, so has our family.
There’s a lot happy times, tough times, and a tons of in between times. But the one thing that matters most is he’s always had my back. He’s supposed too, right?
It gets tough though because sometimes you may not always agree with the stand of your partner, but your a team. So when something happens, you need them to either back you or take that stand for you when you don’t have the courage to do it for yourself. We’re a team. That’s the way it works. Bonnie and Clyde style ‘yah know.
We’re on the same team, that’s how marriage is supposed to work, taking care of, loving, and being there through thick and thin right.
This week my husband had to step in to take one of those two stands. One for me and our marriage, he knew when it was time to take a stand for us. When I couldn’t take on another ounce of responsibility for everyone else and knew I needed a break, WE need a break … together!
This also includes in parenting! That’s a tough one.
Taking a stand for me TO the boys because WE are a team. Parenting is not for the weak and these little monsters get to learn on how to play mom and dad. Their little coniving minds can really use mom and dad AGAINST each other and this can be tough when there’s a good cop and bad cop in the house.
I’m bad cop and it sucks. Really sucks sometimes. But someone has to be, that’s the way it works. Every kid always has that one parent that’s the disciplinarian, the rule setter, the one that makes them eat their vegetables, makes them do their homework, makes them take out the trash, makes them do all those not so fun things that kids don’t like so basically your not the cool parent.
I’m not the cool parent, I’m bad cop and that’s ok. I’m with my boys a lot more so I tend to have to be bad cop. But being bad cop hurts some times. Your not the one they want to ride with all the time, or choose to sit next to, or run to hug first when you’ve been missed.
It really hurts sometimes because you have to do all the dirty ”work” behind parenting, and when the kids get upset your the first they take out their emotions on. Yea, being bad copy stinks but there is no reason good cop shouldn’t be on your team, because you are a team. A team against the little people. ;)-
Every couple I think has a ”hot” button. You know that one thing they tend to argue about most. In most couples its money, budgeting and financing. In our relationship we both work, we’re both constantly hustling, we both have the same goals and patterns when it comes to finances and saving so money is not our hot button. It’s disciplining the kids. Parenting is our hot button.
My husband and I were raised with the same ethics but by two completely different ways. My family upbringing children were to be seen and not heard and well my husbands, children are the center of the universe. Nothing wrong with either way, both turned out well, both worked for us. But it does cause us to react differently when raising our boys.
The boys also learn this over time and use it to their advantage. ”Mom will say no so lets ask dad” kind of way. Lol. Kids are smart.
So it’s extremely important were a team when we need to be. Yea, not all the time maybe one gives in more than the other, but when they cross the the line Good Cop turns into Bad Cop to lay the law. This is what I’m thankful for. Now it’s not all the time, we pick and chose our battles, and learn sometimes when it’s to late that we should’ve, but it’s when it’s absolutely needed most.
The boys know bad cop has reinforcement if need. Thankful my husband has my back against this little villain duo. lol.
Not to mention, being the only woman we have in the house I think it’s very imperative that when times get tough the boys witness my husband standing up for me, it shows them I’m not to be disrespected as a woman as well, that they know how treat a woman and as a man regardless of who she is Mommy, Friend, Bad Cop, you do not disrespect a girl.
Marriage is tough. Parenting is tough. It makes it a little easier when you have a partner that will take a stand for you, that has that ”if your cross her, you cross me” in parenting and in general.
Good guy, or bad guy, I’d rather always HAVE and BE a good partner. Makes life a little easier for me, and for him.
So don’t cross me, lol. Have you seen the size of Zoli’s arms? Haha. He is also great in a debate too lol jk ? haha! This little villain pack we’re against I need all the help I can get. Lol.
I hope you have that support when it’s needed most, because it sure makes a difference. If you don’t, ASK for it when you need it most! Never be afraid of asking for what you want or need, in any aspect of life.
Happy Tuesday Mom Queens!