This blog is for the SPARKLE “Mrs” or anyone in the SPARKLE world with a significant other, boyfriends really can’t fall into this category because your not sharing a life, home, and schedule together. This is where it varies drastically.
The boyfriend or the newbie SPARKLE husband hasn’t been exposed long enough for all the ups and downs of pageants to really catch a clear FULL experience of whats it’s like to be with a SPARKLE girl. They have only been around for the FUN and the GLAMOUR parts to only feel PROUD of their beautiful and motivated Sparkle Queen.
There’s more to it than seeing your wife, girlfriend, or significant other shine on stage or be beautiful at events. A real SPARKLE husband has been down this glitter road once, twice, and even more. He has had a spouse BE a title holder with a crazy packed schedule and trying to balance everything and THEM! They’ve seen the good and bad, the catty and the giving, the drama and the friendships, the celebrated wins and the broken hearted losses, and all the glorious and god-awful moments but STILL supports their SPARKLE queen.
My hubby and I have been married now 13 years, together 17. He met me shortly after my state title as a MISS was up so he didn’t get to see the MISS world of competition but boy, oh boy has he got to witness a lot of the MRS world over the last 12 years! Yes, I said 12 years! Poor Guy lol.
Through out my competition days the poor guy has been a supporter, babysitter, chauffeur, body guard, fitness coach, chief, spray tan tech, shopping assistant, steamer, coffee getter, ATM, Life Coach, My #1 Fan, Therapist, the list goes on. He has supported me in prepping for and competing in 6 state pageants and 4 national pageants. He has picked up my slack and pushed me through holding a very busy 4 state titles and one National Title. Thats 5 years of events, appearances, travel, appointments, preparation, this list too is endless but one thing it all has in common is time away from my daily life, the real things that matter. All the blessings that MADE me a Mrs… him and my boys.
That’s why I wanted to write this blog. I see so many Mrs, just crowned their state titles preparing for a national title or so many just finished competing and ready to sign up again next year because, what I admire most.. they are not giving up. One thing I did notice though this year is I had a few of my Sparkle Friends take a year off, some will even say their husbands needed a break.
THEY realize that very thin invisible line that I wanted to bring attention too. Their husbands TOO MUCH line. Heck think about it ladies, some Mrs. aren’t always a Mrs. after their reigns. Not that being a SPARKLE girl has anything to do with the inevitable, BUT I’m sure the time taken away from your greatest blessings may have. That is what I wanted to draw awareness to… knowing when your close to that line and knowing when some is maybe “too much” not for you, for HIM!
I pray all of you reading this pay extra close attention and realize where your SPARKLE husband’s line is.
My last reign as an International queen I traveled A LOT! I mean A LOT for a mom of 2 boys, several businesses, and a CEO crazy busy hubby! When my husband made the jokingly comment 2 months before the end of my reign that he felt like a single dad sometimes between all my appointments, events, travel, blogging, video blogging, appearances, weekly platform volunteering, work out schedule, my own work schedule, the kids schedules… it left very little time for him. There was truth behind that comment.
That’s when I realized I’m close to his boundary and decided to make a large SHIFT in my direction and balanced the rest of my reign at home, in my own zip codes because HE means more to me than any of that SPARKLE that now sits on my shelfs. HE is my true SPARKLE, not worth sacrificing. I’ve been very fortunate to always be close and have the best directors EVER, they were always more than understanding and supportive in my decision to slow down towards the end of my reigns.
My husband has also seen the negatives of pageantry like the drama grown women still can bring, the cattiness and the cliquey competitive side a SPARKLE girl can possess. Being in the SPARKLE world for so long you really can’t avoid some drama or having someone always have something to say about you even if they don’t really KNOW you really. I’ve always been pretty good with handling that kind of stuff but when I won my state title twice and was the first to break the new barrier of formers competing, it brought A TON of that Mrs. catty girl drama close to home. That’s when I noticed even though I wasn’t close to his line of enough by my own doing, the doing of others was getting him close to his line of enough.
My husbands never understood girl cut throat competitive, clicky, drama. He always tells me we don’t have time for that in our lives with what we do, and he is right. When it started affecting me and being brought into our home from others, that is when I distanced myself from some SPARKLE extras and people. He’s always warned me about really thinking about who my “competition” friends are, he’s a realist. I know some of you are saying your not like that and no one you know in the SPARKLE world is like that. Let’s be real here, there are, and there is a WHOLE lot of crazy drama out there and some not so real “friends” thanks to social media. He just wanted me to avoid all of this the best I could. His track record of me finding out the hard way… justifies his feelings on discovering my true SPARKLE friends.
When we choose to SPARKLE and we have children your hubby picks up all the slack as well. It’s a lot for them, on top of missing and relying on you. It effects THEIR lives just as much as it affects yours. It will help knowing his limits. What also helps any man is, praise!
Praise him, Thank him daily for not just supporting you and pushing you but for dealing with ALL this extra that he probably doesn’t ask from you. Marriage is tough enough and adding any stress even SPARKLE stress of preparing , competing and holding a title. That is something to make sure you know is his boundaries, and where YOUR TRUE PRIORITIES lie.
I’m very fortunate I’ve got Zoli, he’s seen the ups, downs and still has always wanted to push me to my goal knowing that the more he pushed meant more sacrifice from …HIM! That is what a good SPARKLE husband does. Im thankful for him always wanting me to make the best of my reigns, putting in the time to compete as my best, and never wanting me to pass up on my dreams and goals. No regrets has always been his goal for me. Just as I’m sure YOUR SPARKLE hubby does if your a SPARKLE girl reading this!
If your a SPARKLE girl reigning, competing, or taking a break pay attention to his LINE, when he needs a break, when it’s too much for HIM. Everyone has their limits on everything. Yes he wants to support you but really it’s not a GUY thing so I’m sure he has his boundaries. Don’t sacrifice your greatest blessing. Remember to THANK HIM AND PRAISE HIM for picking up for the things and time your lacking. Doing so will only help you SPARKLE even more in HIS eyes.
Happy Wednesday Mom Queens!