Ok, so truth is I had a REALLY good strength topic to post for today, but life happened and I’m going to have to SPICE it up a bit.
See this kid. This sweet boy LOVES with all his soul. PEOPLE make him happy. Any kind of remote attention his way, and he melts in your hands. He’s always smiling, laughing, and his spirit LIGHTS up a room.
Today was his 6th Birthday Party. It was great. He had fun. But it was missing something. Some people. Some people that SHOULD’VE been there. My husband and I cant help but be a little sad, not for us, for him. Actually I’m pretty torn. Hence why I’m up writing this after MIDNIGHT when I’ve ALREADY been to asleep. (Blogging can be very therapeutic 😉 .)
People think I’ve got thick skin, I do most of the time. When it comes to your babies and their feelings though I’m human and I react. Actually I’m one of those that if I’m ever upset, you DO NOT want to ask me a question if you DO NOT want to hear the honest blunt truth about it. My husband says “I’m a realist”, I don’t really sugar coat things when I’m upset. My delivery can be kind of harsh and to the point, kind of like a jaw breaker not a tootsie pop. Like a quick rip off of a bandaid kind of “ouch”. So note to self, it’s always good to approach me AFTER the dust settles, when I have the ability to deliver harsh truth but make it sound like it’s coated in sugar plums and rainbows.
So it makes total sense, that my immediate reaction tonight was “you know what, not gonna feel bad, not going out of my way anymore” nonsense.
We didn’t hand out a ton of invites like we normally do, we wanted to keep it small, so the invites we did pass were family and friends that VAN adores. Close family and friends, “his friends” that HE truly thinks are all his BFF’s. He doesn’t realize this, or maybe he does, and I’m sure he’ll ask today or tomorrow. But my husband and I were pretty disappointed, more than half the people didn’t show. More than half. So obvious. People that SHOULD have been there.
Now I know things come up, it’s a holiday weekend, trust me I’m a 4th of July baby, I get it. But we had it later afternoon on a Sunday because kids have to return back to school in the morning so almost everyone’s back from their holiday travels. Last year we did the same thing on the same day and everyone was there. But HALF the room bare. It was obvious.
I wouldn’t be upset, if I wasn’t the one who’s house you go to and never ask anyone to bring anything. I wouldn’t be upset if I wasn’t the one that goes above and beyond to make sure we attend almost everything we’re asked too. I wouldn’t be upset if I wasn’t the one that supports ALL my friends and families in ALL their ventures. Not one person that knows me can’t honestly say, that whatever service they provide, whatever product they sell, or whatever party they are hosting for their latest network marketing fad that’s out, I buy it! I attend! I’m there! I contribute to all my friends businesses, events, and fundraisers, at some point. And if I can’t be I at least send an order. Now I don’t think I’ve ever asked a friend to put in an order for a few thousand cases for my work, I GIVE them, or provide them real estate brokerage service at the 3% normal market fee. No! I do it for NOTHING because they are a friend. Now I have learned my lesson over the years when it comes to that- usually those deals cause me the most stress, so I’ve learned just to say no. But I’ll give all the free advice in the world! When Trae started his T-shirt biz I asked all my friends and family to support it, we think it’s an awesome thing he does. I realized then that sometimes that support can be a one way street for some, and that stinks. But hey, oh well. But when it comes to BEING THERE I care. Heck, I’ve even stayed home for a whole weekend instead of being at the lake one summer for a friend of mines event she asked me to help with. I kept my kids and husband home from where we really WANTED to be just so I could be there. I’m the ones house that families go, that’s come one come all, make sure the kids have a blast, don’t care if you come empty handed just come, because I want the kids and everyone to just have a good time. It’s the memories. It’s being there!
Now I know I shouldn’t let it bother me. I know. But I can’t help it. ( Look at me it’s after midnight!) I can’t help but be a little hurt, for him, not me. I can’t help the momma bear instincts because this little guy LOVES these people.
I had a friend leave another state a day early, go to another one to pick up the rest of her family(combined family) and then drive all the way down here when they live an hour away to attend tonight. When I got home and got sour with my new attitude that I’m just not going to go out of my way for many anymore or listen to my mom about not to worry that karma goes around, that it was pretty crappy gesture. I called that friend and thanked her for going so far out of her way because I also realized the smallest gesture another friend couldve made, a simple text of “sorry we can’t make it today” is just manners. Common respect, So I can answer my little guy when he asks “Mommy where’s _____?” Is not to much to ask. So I couldn’t help but get all defensive and sour because really their not hurting me, it hurts my little guys spirit. So when we got home and realized all those faces we were hoping to see tonight, instead of being sad, it mad me realize a tiny gesture probably could’ve saved some heartache but helped us respect the lengths some made just to be there. Their simply, those people.
Once I had a family member advise me “to never expect anything from anyone and you’ll never be disappointed.” Gosh he was right. But gosh that’s harsh. Do you really want to be that person? Do I? No.
Because while my emotions are high I really can say, “ I’m not gonna do this, not going to do that anymore” but truth is, I will. Because most likely I will be at anyone of my family and friends birthdays, I will host whatever the heck they ask me, I will attend whatever product launch they want, or support them in any way I can. Because that’s me. ( I have a serious problem saying no! Lol) but that’s NOT a bad thing, well sometimes, but it’s really not. But what is bad what hurts … is how do I explain that to this sweet boys face when the dust settled and he realizes who wasn’t there. When he gets sad about, when HIS feelings are hurt? Or when he has to go to school tomorrow and he realizes only 3 of his classmates were there. That allot of his friends weren’t. He’s going to be crushed. And I just don’t want his spirit to be crushed. His spirit it what makes this little guy so special.
Today’s gonna be tough,
Because Mommin’ is tough!
Happy Monday Mom Queen Friends. May the strong survive … at least until Tuesday. ;)-